This weekend I heard some very sad news. A friend of mine lost her beautiful baby girl before she was born. I read about what had happened and everything stopped. Nothing else mattered. I have struggled to think about much else since as it all fades into the background.
How can I write about toddler tantrums when I am so very very lucky to have a toddler? How can I moan in jest about the hard work it is somedays being a mum when I am so lucky to be one? The day to day things that bother us only ever disappear when something so big happens it reminds us how irrelevant they are.
I was told in my twenties that I would struggle to have any children due to endometriosis and polysystic ovaries. Gp’s used to pile on the pressure for me to “get cracking or else it will never happen.” I am continually grateful that in fact I could not only have children but I have been blessed with three. This does not stop me from finding the job very hard at times and I often struggle with how to cope with certain aspects.
Only a few times in my life have I felt like this when time stops and nothing else matters. When I suddenly lost my mum in my twenties, when a dear friend lost her husband only one week after their honeymoon and when another friend also lost her son at birth.
I am going to write to my friend. I don’t know what I will say for I cannot imagine how she is feeling, how she is having the strength to get out of bed or managing to function at all. All we can do is surround people with love and hope that this gives them some comfort.